Did you know that we all have an innate resource that we can use to achieve all of our goals? What is and how does emotional intelligence work? What are the keys or tips to take advantage of its full potential and achieve everything we set out to do?
Have you heard of emotional intelligence? In recent years it has been the talking point of psychology and science. And it is that before it was thought that there was only one type of intelligence, but new research models found that intelligence was actually prismatic, and one of its strongest sides is emotional intelligence.
Part of emotional intelligence is the ability to control emotions without allowing them to control us. If you have problems in this particular aspect, we tell you how to learn to control emotions.
Learn to control emotions
The most common model used for emotional intelligence ability is the Mayer, Caruso, and Salovey four-limb model. In this model, emotional intelligence is divided into:
- The ability to recognize or perceive emotions in oneself and in others.
- Use emotions to communicate.
- Understand and regulate emotions.
- Being open and managing emotions and promoting understanding and personal growth.
It means that an emotionally intelligent individual is capable of perceiving, transmitting, understanding and regulating all types of emotions effectively.
If you want to learn to develop your emotional intelligence, take into account the following tips. They are based on the four branches and with them you can learn to control your emotions.
Many times, people turn off their emotions without even realizing it. Instead of being in tune with their emotions and picking up on each of the alerts, they decide to ignore or suppress an emotion.
For example, generally when we are asked "how are you?" We automatically answer "fine" without even thinking about it. These types of behaviors teach us to overshadow and disconnect our emotions. You need to pay attention to sincere feelings.
Once you tune in to your emotions, take a step back and ask yourself "how did I get here?", That is, "where does this emotion come from?" Sometimes a simple event that we think we missed can trigger a reaction we didn't expect. Understanding where our emotions come from and what evokes them is a crucial component in learning to manage emotions.
Do not get tied to a feeling. Generally, when we experience a strong emotion we make the mistake of feeding it with sometimes even unrealistic thoughts. Fundamentally, we must understand that it is necessary to move forward because when we experience our emotions we are not the only ones affected. In short, avoid taking some feelings to heart.
Those around us also suffer in some way. It is necessary to have a good perspective that includes us and our circle in what is happening, tune emotions and thinking and move forward.
You have to have perspective of the situations, but certainly you also need to go deeper. Part of emotional intelligence is knowing how to identify with certainty the type of emotions we experience.
We often hear that when someone is in love they feel butterflies in their stomach, but does that sign apply to us? Reflect on the signs of each of your emotions.
In silence clearly you will not be able to learn to control your emotions but we will not do it by raising your voice. This starts from the voices in our head.
It is necessary to give more volume to the voices of the grandmother, mother or father who advise what to do in the middle of a situation, and lower the volume of our own altered voice a little in those moments of anguish.
Negative emotions can overshadow everything around us, we see everything bad and we even become suspicious of our own friends. That same power is held by positive emotions in an adverse sense.
But when going through a negative emotion it is necessary to adjust the brightness, focus on gratitude and feelings related to happiness and satisfaction.
When emotions overflow or are on the verge, it is necessary to withdraw, take a couple of minutes to return. During this time, emotionally intelligent people often take a deep breath and count.
When you breathe, you must think about the breathing process, the sensations that the body experiences when receiving and releasing the air. It is a technique that, although brief, can help you regain your emotional balance.
Sometimes a minute is not enough, so to learn to control your emotions you need to know your threshold. What psychologists call stopping comes into play, which usually refers to getting away from the situation long enough.
Going for a walk, a couple of hours away from the office or home, having a glass of water, etc., can reduce emotional arousal and regain clarity.
To turn off
If you are having a heated discussion on your mobile or computer, what is the wisest thing to do? When you see that things are crossing the limit, disconnect.
Turning off the interface where the problem is generated will give you time to reflect and know if what you are saying is what you really want to say. This will help you reconnect with your mind, heart, and soul, so you don't hurt yourself or the other person any more.
The decision to learn to control your emotions is of great value. You could certainly choose to activate the autopilot instead of using the controls. It is a learning process that can be exhausting, but the benefits are great. It is brave.
Therefore, it is important to take time to recharge. Each person recharges their energies in a different way, there are those for whom meditation works, others use prayer, others take walks in nature, others have coffee at sunset alone or with friends. Only you know what your method is, but whenever you have a difficult week, set aside a moment to recharge. Emotionally, that will promote your health.
So now you know, don't ignore your emotions but don't feed them negative thoughts either. Have perspective of the situations, but at the same time learn to identify each emotion that you experience. Take a minute or more away from situations when necessary. And finally, take time for yourself in which you feel satisfied. Good luck!