We have all seen ourselves in that situation at times. You meet a person, you start a rapprochement and, little by little, you discover how good you feel when you are with her, until, in a completely natural way, that question comes up, is she the person with whom I want to spend my whole life? ?
To be in love is to speak of bigger words. Although the image that the cinema or the novels of Jane Austen shows us about what true love is usually seems wonderful, remember that in these stories, love is almost always surrounded by difficulties that surround it and that seem insurmountable until the end .
The paradox of everything is that, in these films and books, love would not exist without these adversities, since they are the ones that prepare the circumstances in which the characters have the opportunity to demonstrate the true value of their love. In a natural way, and not only influenced by the cinema, but also through family, cultural or social values, many people still firmly believe that to love, inevitably, one also has to suffer.
Well, I'm going to show you this is an unreal concept of what the feeling of love truly is and that, although the feelings can coincide with those of these characters, it is not necessary to have a bad time to always love.
Answering this question is not an easy task and there has been little discussion about it. Many times we get carried away by the interpretation of some signals about what we feel, but which are simply a subjective and partial description of what happens to you, a product of what we have experienced ourselves or the situations that have occurred in others areas of our lives.
Remember, love, like the rest of the Universe, is a feeling that comes from you in the first place, so it is clear which is the path to follow to achieve it.
4 clues to know if you are fully capable of loving another person
Whether you have never had a partner, or if you left a long time ago or, you do not know if the one you have now is really the right one for you, it is important to review some facts that will help you clearly define your degree of willingness to discover what you are. is really love. You may be impatient to know if a girl is attracted to you or that you are interested in some tricks to know if a man likes youHowever, before we get to that part, it is first important to be clear about a few things.
1. You come first
If what you feel is an irresistible desire to make that person happy and you think it is real love, then it is possible that it is real love.
But first, it is important that you know exactly what your concept of happiness is and what role you play in its fulfillment.
No matter how close you feel, in no case will their interests coincide at 100 % with yours. It is not selfishness. It is nature. And against our mother it is useless to oppose. If you think that "how closely connected you are" is reason enough to put your priorities in the background behind those of your partner, I'm afraid you won't have a very long relationship waiting for you.
You may think that trying to always please your partner in all their desires and whims will make them see you with better eyes and, of course, the feeling of having exceeded their expectations can seem very comforting at first. However, this effect does not usually last long.
There is a false belief that it will only be true love when the happiness of the other person is more important than ours, but do you know what the reality is? That this is completely false. The first mistake many people make is delegating their own well-being to the decisions that their partners make. In the long run, this will not only become a major source of conflict, but it will also become increasingly exhausting and debilitating throughout your relationship. Nobody cares more about you than you, so the best thing you can do is take charge of your own life and start walking your own path as soon as possible, without this meaning stopping paying attention to what happens to us in order to do so. take advantage of the opportunities that life offers us in matters of loving other beings on our planet.
2. You already have a stable relationship with yourself
Although it may seem logical, many people overlook that to love someone else, it is an essential requirement to love yourself above all things that exist.
Many people refuse to love themselves more, since they consider it a grave immoral act to love themselves more than others, but do not forget that love is a pure and infinite feeling, so it is not possible to measure it with any physical magnitude.
It is just a matter of being aware that the only way we have to feel love is only by projecting the best of ourselves in the real world. If you consider yourself an inferior being or you think it is someone's obligation to make you feel better, I am sorry to tell you that you are in no condition to fall in love with anyone.
The first step to feeling a healthy love for others is to feel a pure and true love for yourself. Maintaining good self-esteem and showing a positive attitude in the face of life's adversities are essential requirements to love ourselves, this being the only way to love any other person and, ultimately, to be happy.
3. You know that nothing is forever
Living each day as if it were your last is useful to be aware that anything, no matter how solid it may seem, will be finished at the least expected moment.
There is nothing we can do about it but learn to live with it. Recreating ourselves in the end only serves us to develop our creativity in a very negative way, designing scenarios that, although possible, almost never offer any guarantee as to when or how it will happen.
Learning to file this somewhere in our minds, and striving to enjoy the good things in life is a quick and easy way to make room for our capacity to love. Not taking anything personally and understanding that we all make mistakes not only helps you live with more peace, but it also serves to solidify and strengthen any social relationship and make it more lasting.
4. No one is essential
Not even you. But when you truly love, you don't mind letting go, since you know that the love you felt will always remain with you.
Like all other feelings, love is inside you. However, it is always possible to find people, animals, or any other resource in the physical world that supports us in finding it, but with the futile hope that "it will be forever." The reality is that, unfortunately, this does not always have to be the case.
If you do not feel bad thinking that that person in the future may be sharing their life with someone who is not you and you fully accept that this can happen and that it will not be so terrible, it makes you one step closer to finding true love.
Practicing detachment, instead of clinging to the material and, above all, being aware that no one depends on anyone to survive are some of the keys to discovering our own capacity to love.
5. Absolutely no one owes you anything
To love is to wish the other person happiness, and what better way than to help him to be free to achieve it? It does not matter if you are not together or if your situation is untenable. Love is not about possession, but the opposite.
When you truly love someone, you want, above all things, the absolute happiness of the other person. However, there is something I have to tell you about this: you are only part of your own happiness. There is no use wanting to see the other person a lot or feeling jealous that they spend time with other people. If you really love her, you will want with all your strength that she has a good time, even if, sometimes, you are not part of her plans. You decide how you want to take this, but you know what? that no one is going to care more than you, so it is up to you to take it as best it makes you feel.
The conclusion seems clear. It does not matter what you want to love, since to do so, you will inevitably first have to love yourself.